


goodnight, my love

by hanjisungsslut



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Affection, Comfort fic, Cuddling, Fluff, Han Jisung | Han is a Sweetheart, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, Lee Minho | Lee Know-centric, M/M, Projection fic, Study Buddies, jisung is an insomniac, minho can’t sleep, minho-centric, soft, vunerability issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:14:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22797643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanjisungsslut/pseuds/hanjisungsslut
Summary: Minho always knew he was different.Different, but not weird.Minho can’t sleep because of unusual circumstances, so he decides to go to the library to deal with his insomnia.There, he meets certified insomniac Han Jisung.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 23
Kudos: 440





	goodnight, my love

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. this mentions minho and jisung being insomniacs, it also briefly mentions minho forgetting to eat, there is also a panic attack scene so please be aware.
> 
> this is a comfort fic and a fic where i can project MY issues. please do not be rude about the situation discussed here as it took a lot of courage to post this after experiencing some of the similar things experienced here. thank you!
> 
> Note: This fic has been updated from its previous version. Changes have been made in light of recent information.

minho noticed he was different around age five.

he was sitting in his first grade classroom, the table of four or five other children in his grade sitting around him as they did their coloring sheets. the girl across from him had recently gotten her tonsils removed and to a group of five-year-olds, it sounded like a quite dangerous procedure. minho wasn’t even sure he knew what tonsils were.

“wow! did it hurt?” a kid at his table asked, his eyes blown wide and his jaw hanging open. minho thought he looked kind of silly like that.

the girl shook her head. “nope! i went to sleep when it was done. my parents are making me sleep in their bed for the next few nights though. they’re silly.”

minho knitted his eyebrows together in confusion. sure, he knew that at some point, kids typically stopped sleeping in the same bed as their parents, but he himself had yet to move from the safety of his mother's bed. 

“you sleep alone?” he asked, somewhat cautiously, afraid of being mocked.

“yeah!” the girl nodded enthusiastically, “i have been since last year!”

the others quickly agreed and minho felt like the odd man out. it was the first time he’d really felt set apart from others, the first time he’d really felt different. it didn’t upset him as much. who cared if he still slept in the same bed as his mother? 

he would grow out of it. 

+++

middle school was nothing short of a hellish experience.

minho’s difference to others became more noticeable, his quirks and details just didn’t seem to hold the same values as others’ did. it still didn’t bother him, just made him painfully aware of the things he could do or say around others.

he only once made the mistake of letting his predicament slip to a classmate.

“wait. you still sleep with your mom?” the kid said, looking at minho with bulging eyes. he knew he was different, didn’t need to be told that. honestly, why was it even considered a bad thing? it wasn’t like he’d just revealed his second head.

“oh man, are you joking? tell me you’re joking. that’s so weird.” the kid made a face too close to a snarl for minho's liking. 

minho forced himself to laugh, pointing at the kid and saying something along the lines of “you should’ve seen your face!” and because middle schoolers are dumb and immature, the kid believed it was all a joke. 

and minho promised himself he wouldn’t ever mention it to someone again. not because it made him different, but because it made him weird.

minho didn’t like being weird. 

+++

high school came and went, and with it came and went minho's ability to care about the opinion of others.

he was different. there was no need to deny or ignore it, he didn’t mind the label. high school taught him how to use it to his advantage, how to crack jokes and do things the average anxious high schooler wouldn’t do, things that just didn’t make sense but seemed to make everybody laugh. 

and as long as people saw him as different,  _ just  _ different, he wasn’t bothered. he was liked, a unique soul in the sea of people remotely the same, and he was able to make his way through like that. 

he never mentioned the  _ thing  _ ever again. 

high school was a breeze for that reason. for the reason that though minho was different, he wasn’t weird. as long as he wasn’t called that word, he convinced himself that it was fine. 

he would grow out of his habit, he would be okay in the end.

+++

he wasn’t okay in the end.

three days into college, minho had a panic attack. 

he wasn’t sure what triggered it. maybe it was the way he hadn’t really gone to sleep in the first place or maybe the fact that he hadn’t really gone to sleep the last three nights as a whole. his bed felt too small, too empty, too cold. he took an insane amount of sleep helpers, he tossed and turned and changed positions every ten minutes. he wasn’t comfortable, no matter what he did.

he had balanced on the edge of sleep and alertness for the past few nights, and was still pretty functional in his classes. but tonight, something snapped. 

he rolled over in his bed, it was probably around two in the morning, trying to yell at himself to sleep. his leg touched the ice cold sheets and suddenly, he was more awake than he had ever been.

the bed was empty except for him, he knew this. he knew it and yet it scared him. he opened his eyes, finding his roommates bed empty as well. alone. minho was alone.

he could feel his breathing begin to quicken, but could do nothing to slow it down. his fingers gripped the sheets, knuckles beginning to mirror the whiteness of them. he tried to find something, he wasn’t sure what, to calm him down, but everything was cold. cold and empty.

the floor was cold when the bottoms of his feet hit the wood and began to scramble for the door. the knob was cold under his hand as he twisted it violently and threw it open. the wall was cold when he ran his hand along it, barely managing to keep himself upright as he moved. the bathroom sink was cold when he slammed his palms down on the side of it, staring at his own frantic expression.

he couldn't bare to look at himself. 

pathetic.

pathetic that he couldn’t sleep alone as a grown man. pathetic that he freaked out over an occurrence most people enjoy. pathetic that he spent so many years of his life  _ needing  _ somebody to be there or he couldn't function. pathetic that this is how he developed insomnia, instead of being from studying or something,  _ anything _ productive. pathetic, pathetic, pathetic. 

  
  


he felt his hands in his hair, tugging at the short strands as a way to pull himself back. he stayed on the bathroom floor until dawn broke through the window, rocking back and forth under the sun. 

he was able to pull himself up nearly an hour before his first class, feeling his body move sluggishly. he forced himself to shower and brush his teeth, to gather his books and ignore the dark bags beneath his eyes, to go to class and smile when the kid next to him asked for a pen and to pretend everything would be fine in the end.

because it would be. it had to be. this wasn’t normal, nothing about minho was. but this wasn’t the kind of different he’d grown used to being. there was another word they used for this, a word he didn’t like.

he would be fine. he had no other choice.

+++

he couldn’t sleep.

admittedly, the sleep-helpers made him drowsy, tired even. however, despite his body’s exhaustion and the dark crescents under his eyes that have become sickeningly obvious, they didn’t put him to sleep. 

he considered texting seungmin, his high school best friend who was going to a college only forty-five minutes away. seungmin didn’t know, nobody did, but he knew minho had been struggling to fall asleep recently. 

“promise me you’ll tell me if it gets bad.” seungmin said during their conversation the day after minho’s freakout in the dorm bathrooms. minho smiled weakly, though he knew seungmin couldn’t see it.

“i will. i promise.” he mumbled back, fiddling with his fingers the way he did when he lied. 

“are you ringing your hands together?” he heard seungmin’s voice laced with suspension, and minho could have laughed. seungmin knew him well, too well.

“no,” he had the common sense to lie again, fiddling his fingers together faster, “i promise i will tell you if it gets bad, seungmin.”

it gets bad. he doesn't tell seungmin. or anyone for that matter. 

instead, he uses the time he doesn’t spend sleeping to do homework. his grades are saved thanks to this, with his inability to listen properly in class due to his poor rest (or lack thereof), he needs the homework points.

he does find that it’s easier to stay awake and focus when he isn’t taking 7 different pills to unsuccessfully force himself to sleep. the homework is difficult, but with some help from google, he’s able to understand the material.

within the first week, he also discovers that his ability to focus late at night is heightened. the only downside is his roommate. specifically, the sound of his roommates snores. he’s kind of envious if he’s being honest. 

nonetheless, minho’s hyperfocus is stumped by the loud sound and he resorts to sitting in the hallway late at night. this doesn’t work either, as his RA yells at him for blocking the hall and explains that if he must study, the library is open twenty-four hours a day. 

so that’s how he finds himself, standing in front of the large building just as the clock turns over to two. he knows he won’t be alone in the library. college students have the worst reputations for being insomniacs, broke and stressed out. he knows he will probably encounter over half his psych class in here.

still, he hesitates. 

god, he should’ve told seungmin. even though he knows seungmin couldn’t do anything to help him, he just wishes he hadn’t lied to him. 

the library is unnecessarily cold when he enters, a complete difference to the disorienting heat outside. the smell of old and new books alike mix in the air, the dim lighting and dark corners highlight the rows of shelves among identical tables in the center. it’s a peaceful atmosphere.

however, the seven students crouched over the tables, either furiously writing with strained eyes or burying their head in their arms, did not look at peace.

minho gripped the strap of his bag tightly. there were only six tables. he’d have to share one with another person. minho was a social person, don’t get him wrong, but he was not in any state to be interacting with people.

a boy with bright red hair sat at the one closest to the door, bent over his notebook with his laptop open. he looked focused despite the redness around his eyes. minho prayed the boy would be engrossed enough with his work to not notice minho's presence.

luck seemed to be on his side tonight. he sat his bag down at the far end of the table, the furthest seat away from the boy. they sat in silent harmony for half an hour, all eight of them working diligently. two of the boys stood, stretching and slinging their bags over their shoulders. it was 3 in the morning already.

“i’m so over this project.” he heard one whisper to the other. a light laugh bubbles out of the other boy. 

“i know.” he hesitated for a moment, looking between their laptops and the boy. “do you— uh. do you maybe want to go grab something to eat? i know you haven’t eaten since we got here and i just thought—“

“chan?” the first boy cut off his rambling. minho looked in between them, his own cheeks red from second-hand embarrassment. he found himself holding his breath for the other.

“yes?” the boy winced. another soft laugh came out of the other boy.

“follow me,” the second one said with a smile, “i know a great place.” 

minho actually breathed a sigh of relief. he was not in the right mental state to watch a rejection unfold right in front of his own eyes. he probably would’ve started crying.

the two boys walked out of the library, talking quietly under their breath. minho heard a loud sigh from his left when the door shut behind them. the red-headed boy was clutching his chest, slowly blowing air out of his cheeks. he looked at minho with a little glint in his eye.

“i was genuinely terrified for that man.” the boy said, sounding like he had just ran a marathon. minho chuckled, glancing toward the door where the two were still standing outside. 

“i was too. he was so nervous.” minho figured the conversation would end there, but the red-headed boy smiled, extending a hand.

“my names felix.” minho shook his hand, smiling a bit too.

“minho.” 

felix retracted his hand, turning to his laptop and resuming typing. minho did the same. the amount of homework he had these past few days was ridiculous, he didn’t see how anyone with a proper sleep schedule could get it done. luckily for him, those words were not in his vocabulary.

“i swear professor kim is trying to murder his students. who gives a packet of work in the second week?” felix complained only a hushed whisper. minho giggled.

“yeah, he is kind of an ass. i have to look up most of the answers because his notes are so sloppy and uninformative.” 

felix nodded, gesturing to his own notebook for emphasis. “he acts like i’m supposed to teach myself the material and he’s just supposed to stand in front of us for an hour and a half.”

minho laughed in agreement. the conversation died down, leaving both boys to work on their individual projects. around four, felix sighed and closed his laptop. 

“i’m gonna try to sleep some before my 8 am. you should probably do the same.” felix suggested, swinging his bag on the table. 

“i’m alright. i’ll go back soon,” minho lied. felix looked like he was about to protest, but minho waved him off. the red-headed boy nodded.

“well, i’ll see you around, minho.” felix waved goodbye. minho returned to his work, rubbing his sore eyes out of exhaustion. he noticed the other students packing up as well, gradually leaving with their laptops tucked under their arms.

the clock hit five, and minho noticed he was now alone in the library with one other boy. the boy was on the opposite side of his table, the one nearest to the bookshelves. an empty table separated them, but if minho looked up, he would be looking directly at him. 

every once in a while, minho would glance up and find the boy crouched over his laptop, hands on his full cheeks while he watched the screen. minho didn’t know why he was so intrigued with this boy, or maybe if it was because he was the only other person here. 

this went on for several minutes, until minho looked up at just the right moment, and found the boy glancing back at him. the boy averted his gaze, cheeks burning very obviously red. minho smiled.

he continued glancing, more frequently now to get the boys attention. after “discreetly” glancing up 7 times, the boy looked up, locking eyes with minho.

he grinned at him, maintaining the otherwise awkward prolonged eye contact. the boys cheeks burned again, but he gave minho a small smile in return. slowly, he broke eye contact and returned to his laptop. 

they did this for another hour, until the clock struck six and they started pack their bags. the boy starts up the aisle, locking eyes with minho as he realizes he has to pass him to leave. the boys cheeks are burning and minho can’t help but think  _ cute. _

the boy dropped his eyes to the floor and very quickly rushed past minho, making the other chuckle. 

classes passed quickly and soon enough, it was time for minho’s last class of the day. psychology. he mentally groaned, remembering the stack of homework he had last night. almost every answer was from google and not from the notes.

he sighed as he walked in, sitting down toward the back of the class in what he claimed as being his seat. students started piling in and minho rested his chin in his hands as he watched them. 

most of these students he didn’t even recognize, save for the few that he’d seen around the dorms. he did, however, recognize the fluffy blond hair resting on the forehead of the boy from the library. he must have felt eyes on him, because he suddenly lifted his head, searching the empty rows of seats until his eyes met minhos.

the kid blushed and quickly sat down, his back facing the brunet. minho chuckled. this boy was easily embarrassed, it was adorable.  _ cute.  _

psych class passed slowly, minho's fatigue finally catching up with his body. he wanted so desperately to sleep, he hadn’t gotten proper rest in weeks. he wished he was back at home, able to climb into bed and fall asleep again.

he knew that wasn't possible, but it didn’t make his situation any better. he honestly was waiting for his body to give out, maybe if he passed out, he could actually sleep for a little, at least a few hours.

he didn’t even realize when his professor dismissed the class, mumbling something about the stack of papers on his desk being homework. minho rolled his eyes as he grabbed one, deciding to go to the library a little earlier tonight. 

he sat in the same spot as the night before, pulling out his laptop and the beginning to work on the packet. he wasn’t sure how long he was there before  _ he  _ came. the blonde boy walked past his table, sitting his bag in front of the same chair he’d sat in last night. minho grinned to himself.

the same thing happened as the night before, occasional glances which always resulted in the boy flushing or looking away quickly, sometimes both. every time, it made minho chuckle. 

he must have been there for close to four hours when the headache started. it was dull at first, hardly there and he could ignore it for the time being. however, it progressively got worse the longer he sat there, staring blankly at the page. 

is this the first sign of passing out? maybe. honestly, minho didn’t have the energy to get up and go find a nurse or his roommate, so he just sat there. 

several minutes passed and minho was rubbing the bridge of his nose in agony. he couldn’t even read three words without focusing back on the ache in his head.

he sighed, pinching the bridge a little harder and willing it away. it did not work and minho just sat there with his nose in between his index finger and his thumb. 

he heard a throat clear in the middle of his dying, and opened his eyes to see the blond boy, holding out a metal thermos, looking down at his shoes. minho quirked an eyebrow at the boy, making him meet his gaze finally.

“i— uh. you’re in my psych class.” the blond said, his arm still outstretched and presenting the thermos. minho did not have the correct state of mind to think about taking it. 

“yeah?” he hoped he didn’t sound rude, that was the last thing he wanted, but he couldn’t help but notice the way the word ended harshly. the boy looked in between minho and the thermos.

“i wasn’t like being creepy or anything i just— i noticed you came here right after class and you haven’t gotten up since i got here like even to go to the bathroom which is remarkable, honestly, i couldn’t do that—okay that’s gross, but i noticed you haven’t eaten anything and i think you might be getting a headache from not eating.”

the boy took a deep breath after, his cheeks puffing out and flushed. minho blinked. he blinked again. he blinked once more for good measure. the boy was right, minho realized he hadn’t eaten in over a day. 

he also realized that the thermos the boy was holding out more than likely contained food. the boy was giving him food. a laugh suddenly bubbles out of minhos chest, the boy snapping his head up at the sound.

“you’re right.” he said with a smile, and he carefully took the thermos. the boy looked like he was going to return to his seat, but minho was quick to stop him.

“why don’t you sit with me, it’s the least i could do.” he put on his most blinding smile, the one he knew always made his mother’s coworkers fawn over how sweet he was. the blond hesitated, his eyes shifting back to his work momentarily, but he seemed to reach a conclusion and pulled out the chair opposite of minho.

“my names minho, by the way.” he offered his hand and the boy smiled. he looked way cuter up close. 

“i’m jisung.” he said, shaking minhos hand. he suddenly remembered something, pulling a spoon onto the table. minho almost laughed at how prepared the kid had come.

the thermos was filled with hot soup, and minho’s headache gradually disappeared as he ate. jisung told him he was a psych major and minho told him he was too. they both discussed their teachers' inability to assign normal amounts of homework while minho went on a rant about capitalism.

jisung laughed the entire way through, only once hiding his cheeks as they started to turn pink when he caught minho staring at him.  _ cute, cute, cute. _

jisung could be very loud and his face would drop whenever somebody shushed him, but minho only encouraged him to continue, not really caring what everybody else thought about it. they weren’t even there to study, why were they shushing him?

jisung tried to speak quieter, but minho pretended he couldn’t hear him, and he could tell from the look on the blond’s face that he appreciated it. somewhere along the way, jisung moved his books to their table, mumbling something about being able to work together on the packet.

they finished the packet, and all other work they had been assigned for the night, around three. both packed up quietly, but neither made a move to leave.

“it always manages to be super late when i leave here.” jisung muttered to himself. minho hummed in agreement, placing his laptop in his bag.

“it’s almost like they want you to ruin your sleep schedule.” minho joked as he sat up straight watching the way jisungs legs bounced under the table. 

“yeah. good thing for me, i’m borderline insomniac.” the blond threw out, casually. he only realized what he said when it was too late. truthfully, he realized that the majority of students had insomnia and that a boy who obviously wasn’t strict about sleeping would not judge him for it. it still made him nervous that he ruined the light mood of the conversation.

minho noticed his sudden quietness. “i think i’m an insomniac too. at least to some degree.” the boy breathed a sigh of relief, picking his bag up from the floor and looking at his phone. 

“hey,” jisung suddenly spoke, “if you aren’t busy or anything, do you want to go get something to eat? i just know soup doesn’t always hold and yeah, you don’t have to.”

minho grinned, adjusting the strap on his bag.

“why do i feel like i’ve heard this conversation before?” 

jisung groaned, his hands flying to his face again. “you mean when chan was in here the other night and very embarrassingly asked that guy to hang out?” 

minho laughed a little. “yep. seriously, he had the whole room fearing for his life. you know him?” they started towards the door, minho holding it open for jisung, who smiled.

“chan’s my RA. he won’t let me use the microwave anymore because i allegedly almost set the dorm on fire.”

“allegedly?”

“hey, you won’t be getting any confessions out of me, mister. how do i know you aren’t a cop?”

minho giggled, falling back to walk beside jisung. “would a cop spend two nights in a row glancing at you from across the room without talking?”

jisungs cheeks heated up again, he was beginning to get annoyed with how often this happened around minho. “a dedicated cop would.” he mumbled and felt the older laughing beside him. 

“i don’t know what offends me more, the fact that you think i could be a cop or the fact that you think i would be so dedicated to being a cop.” minho giggled. jisung rolled his eyes.

“anything is possible. you can’t be that offended, we met a few hours ago.” jisung laughed,

lightly shoving the older. minho gripped his chest.

“and in that very informative few hours, you’ve come to the conclusion that i act like a cop?” minho gasped mockingly, “you bastard!”

jisung broke out laughing. his blond hair fell into his eyes as he bent over and grabbed his knees. he wore a big smile as his posture straightened and he chuckled. “whatever you say, narc.” 

jisung saw the look in minho's eye and took off running, laughing loudly when he heard the older’s footsteps on the concrete behind him. he knew he was dead meat when minho's hand caught the string of his backpack, yanking him back but using his arm to keep the blond upright.

both fell into fits of laughter, honestly they weren’t even sure what they were laughing about anymore, but they enjoyed the rush of adrenaline they got from it.

for the first time in days, minho felt energized. 

jisung led them a few blocks away to a fast food restaurant, his entire face lighting up when he saw the menu. they ended up sharing their food, because jisung was so indecisive about what he wanted to eat and minho is a weak man. 

he also orders them milkshakes, jisung’s with cheesecake bites in it because the boy was practically jumping up and down at the mention of cheesecake.

the younger was very easily excited as well, as minho learned when he offered jisung some of his fries. he could hardly sit still, bouncing his legs or tapping his fingers against the table, not that minho minded at all. 

he was surprised by how talkative jisung was, how much the boy seemed to say with and without words. his face practically animated his thoughts before he says them and minho's kind of in love.

minho watches him with a smile on his face, encouraging the blond to continue talking every time he trails off. he can tell the younger is grateful every time he does it, more than likely used to the opposite.

the thought leaves a sour taste in minho’s mouth.

they stay there until morning, chatting about movies and books and everything else under the sun. minho hardly noticed when his alarm went off. he had a class in 20 minutes.

jisung offered to walk him to his dorm and apologized profusely for potentially making him late. minho gladly accepted and insisted it wasn’t the blond boys fault. 

they walked to minhos building, jisung still rambling on about music while minho just grinned. he didn’t even notice when they reached his dorm room.

“well, i’ll let you get ready. it was really nice meeting you, minho.” jisung said shyly, a blush coating his cheeks. minho’s own cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

“it was nice meeting you too. see you tonight?” 

jisung looked up in surprise, jaw on the floor, but quickly nodded. a small smile spread across his face.

“same place?” jisung asked, unsure. 

“same place. bye for now, sungie.”

+++

when minho got to the library, he was only

slightly surprised to see jisung already there. he had his chin in his hand, his papers and his laptop spread around the desk in front of him. he was also sitting at minho's table, right in front of minho's seat. 

the brunet tried to hide his cheeky smile as he entered, letting his bag fall to the side as he scooped his laptop out. jisung smiles, mumbling a quiet “hey” when minho sat. he returned it. 

they worked in comfortable silence, minho unsurprised when jisung slid a granola bar over to him as he started to get another headache. he couldn’t help but continue smiling at the boys thoughtfulness. 

at some point in their working, jisung pulled out a pair of earbuds, connecting them to his laptop and offering one of them to minho. minho leaned a little closer, inserting it in his ear. 

his eyes are starting to strain and he doesn’t want to tug on the earbud too much, so minho pushes his work aside and folds his arms, letting his cheek rest against his forearm. he finds that this position gives him the perfect view of jisung’s face when he stares down at the laptop.

the song that starts playing has a nice melody, it’s very smooth and starts soft. as minho listens more, he quite enjoys the lyrics, finding them calming. there’s something about the voice singing them, something oddly familiar. 

the song ends and switches over to something with a different melody, but still nice. the lyrics of this song are a little more serious, a little more real and hard-hitting. he’s finally able to place a face to the singer.

“you have a nice voice.” minho says, his own voice sleepier than usual. he gazes up at jisung through long lashes, the younger boy flushing.

“you noticed?” he asks weakly. minho snorts.

“yeah. i really like them. the beats and the melodies are really smooth.” minho hesitates, but ultimately decides to reach over. he squeezes jisung’s hand lightly, as a reassurance.

the blond smiled at him and flipped his hand over to squeeze back. they are holding hands. and they are not letting go. alright. okay. minho can do this, this is just a boy. a very cute boy. this is fine, he is fine.

“the second one is called 19, i wrote it a while ago. i still don’t know what to call the first one.” jisung frowns as he says it, obviously not very happy with the nameless aspect of the song.

minho watches his face. how the dim light bounces off his honey skin, how blond hair sits against his forehead, bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

“sunshine.” minho says softly and jisungs eyes snap towards him at once. “call it sunshine.”

+++

minho isn’t really sure what to call the next few weeks.

he does, in fact, pass out at some point. his roommate found him face down by the door and took him to the nurse. the nurse didn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know, that he wasn’t sleeping or eating enough. he left his office with a bag of snacks and a false promise to sleep more.

yet, every night, he found himself back at the library across from jisung. jisung, who slept maybe fifteen minutes every two days and lived on sugary coffee. jisung, who never organized his notes and always frustrated himself when he was trying to cram for a test. jisung, who still blushed when minho rubbed his thumb over the back of his hand and could suck down a cheesecake milkshake in under three minutes out of pure joy.

minho would call them friends to anyone who asked, but he knew friends didn’t typically walk each other to their dorms and hold hands and share earbuds and do all the little things they did. he was friends with seungmin. minho knew he didn’t notice these details about seungmin.

it was different. it wasn’t weird, because minho  _ was not  _ weird, but it was different. jisung was different.

minho liked different.

the only problem with their ongoing...situation was the fact that they often hung out every night into the early morning. it was taking a toll on both their bodies, the lack of sleep not doing them any good once they could no longer focus. 

on one particular night, when neither of them could comprehend the words on the page in front of them, they just decided to call it a night and try to get some sleep. keyword being try. jisung walked with minho back to his dorm as he usually did, eyes drooping. 

minho unlocked his door, noticing his roommates' bed was empty. changbin would be at the frat house all week. he had the dorm to himself.

“hey jisung,” minho spoke before the boy could get down the hallway, “do you want to stay here tonight?”

the question very obviously confused the boy. his eyebrows shot into his hairline, anxiously glancing between the door and minho.

“my roommate won’t be home for the rest of the week and you look really tired so i thought you could sleep in his bed if you wanted. it’s okay if you don’t want to.” minho rambled, not wanting jisung to get the wrong idea. the blond let out a sigh of relief and nodded, following minho inside the small room.

he sat his bag down against the door, happily making his way over to the spare bed and flopping down on it. minho chuckled and threw some clothes at the younger, forcing him to go to the bathroom and change. jisung groaned but 

pulled himself off the bed and towards the bathroom.

when he returned, he found minho already in bed, scrolling on his phone with his covers pulled as tightly around him as he could. jisung grinned to himself as he climbed in the other bed.

there was silence for half an hour, bold of them restless as the minutes would surely turn into hours.

“this sucks.” minho groaned, digging the palms of his hands into his eyes. jisung sighed.

“i don’t even know what caused my insomnia,” the blond boy sounded exasperated, “wait, that's a lie. sort of. i don’t know how i got it but i know why i keep having it.” his voice was small, sleepy.

“what’s keeping you awake?” minho asked, matching the pitch of the younger boy's voice.

“anxiety. i overthink things, it keeps me up.” he admitted it kind of sheepishly, curling in on himself slightly. minho frowned.

“i slept in the same bed as my mom until i moved out.” minho blurted before he could stop himself. he very quickly slammed a hand over his own mouth, praying that jisung somehow hadn’t heard it. oh god, he was going to think minho was a freak now. he would think he was  _ weird.  _ he rushed to explain himself.

“we would sleep on opposite sides of the bed and i wouldn’t come in contact with her but it was more of a presence thing. i had to know she was there. my therapist a while back told me it was from fear of growing older and clinging to childhood memories mixed with abandonment issues.”

he was not sure why he just spilled a bunch of really personal things to a boy who certainly thought he was weird now. minho pulled the covers up higher, wishing for the floor to just open and swallow him whole. he would rather be in hell than be in this uncomfortable silence.

“was it something about your mom specifically or just any person?” jisung asked after another silent moment. he didn’t sound disgusted or weirded out. that was a good sign.

“uhh…just a person. i was fine when i would go over to my friends house because he would always sleep on the couch with me. i-i can’t sleep without there being another person beside me.” 

it was quiet again. he could hear the sheets moving on the bed next to him.  _ oh god, he’s leaving. he’s never going to talk to me again.  _

minho closed his eyes and waited for the door to open and close, waited for jisung to spur some stupid excuse they both knew wasn’t true to hide how weirded out he was.  _ weird. _

a gust of cold air hit minho's thighs and he opened his eyes to see jisung holding up his covers. he reached a hand out and gentlest nudged minho closer to the wall. minho furrowed his eyebrows, moving over and shifting onto his side. jisung climbed in.

“what? what are you doing?” minho had an odd look on his face, realizing this bed was  _ not  _ big enough for both of them.

“you said you couldn’t sleep without someone beside you, so here i am. now you can sleep.” jisung said it like it was the most common thing in the world, like it was so obvious that was what he was doing. minho felt like he could cry. 

“i’m not weird.”

jisung smiled up at him, shifting slightly closer. “no, you aren’t.”

he wasn’t sure what to do with his hands or his legs, he was currently lying like a pencil and it was very uncomfortable. whether jisung noticed or not, he didn’t know, because the next thing he knew, there was a hand wrapping itself around his waist.

their legs tangled together under the covers, jisung’s chin only reaching minho's chest. warm. he felt warm and very sleepy. minho took the chance to gaze down at the boy flush against him, making note of the little crease in between his eyebrows. without thinking, he raised his hand and used his thumb to smoothen the crease out. jisung laughed.

“what are you thinking about?” minho pulled the younger closer, ignoring the way his cheeks were probably red from the action. jisung looked up at minho, trying to decide what his answer would be. 

“am i reading this right?” soft, almost nonexistent. the words scared him, scared minho. the answer could ruin everything or could make it all so much better. but that was just a risk they were going to have to take.

minho reached behind his back, resting his hand on the younger’s that was cradling his back. he lightly squeezed.

“yeah,” he breathed back, heart racing, “you are.” 

jisung shyly smiled and let out a sigh of relief. he let his head fall against minho's chest and with that shy smile evident in his words, he whispered “goodnight, minho.” 

“goodnight, jisung.”

+++

his alarm woke him up with a start. 

minho shifted around as he grabbed for his phone, finding his upper body unable to move. he found the loud noise on his pillow, turning it off and letting his head fall back onto the softness.

wait.

he had been asleep.

minho had actually slept. he quickly checked his phone.

he’d slept for a full 8 hours for the first time in months.

a soft groan brought him out of his sleepy daze and he looked down in time to see jisung against his chest, blinking his own eyes open. 

“what time is it?” the blond asked, rubbing at his eyes. 

“it’s seven-thirty.” minho replied with a bright smile. jisung’s eyes widened comically.

“you mean we slept—“

“eight hours? yeah.” he honestly felt like he could jump out of bed and start jumping right now, he was so happy. jisung looked equally shocked and happy, glancing at the time on his own phone to make sure.

the younger let out a squeal, tackling the other in a hug. “thank you” he kept chanting over and over like a mantra. minho laughed, wrapping his arms around the other and keeping him pressed against him.

“it wasn’t me, it was totally you.” he insisted, still not loosening his grip on the other. jisung laughed with him, using his arms to push himself up. he was directly over the older boy, who gazed up at him with stars in his eyes. the conversation from the night before all came back.

“hi.” he whispered, noting how close their faces were. minho smirked.

“hey.” 

in a moment of confidence and probably sleep disorientation, jisung leaned down and pressed his lips to the older boys. minho squeaked in surprise but kissed back immediately. he felt more energized than he had ever felt in his entire life at that moment. electricity shot through his body the longer they kissed, minho's lungs running out of air. 

the door banged open and they flew apart, looking toward the disturbance. minho's roommate stood in the doorway, a judgmental look on his face that slowly melted into shock.

“han?” changbin locked eyes with jisung. 

“bin?” he repeated back.

“han?” minho looked between his two friends. what was going on? 

“minho?”

“bin?”

“minho?”

“stop, my head hurts.”

they all three laughed, jisung loving out of minho's lap momentarily. changbin raised an eyebrow at them and jisung blushed.

“didn’t know you two knew each other.” changbin remarked, leaning against the door frame. jisung facepalmed.

“ditto.” he and minho said at once. changbin rolled his eyes, grabbing his laptop from his desk and pointing a finger at the two of them.

“of course the two biggest pain in my asses had to be dating each other. i can't do this.” the door shut behind him. silence filled the room for a few seconds, before minho and jisung both began giggling.

“i should’ve kicked his ass when we moved in.”

+++

their grades got better despite the lack of extra time to do their work now that they had a proper sleep schedule. both boys were feeling better, the bags under their eyes having completely disappeared.

they were able to make sure minho wasn’t forgetting to eat again. they found out jisungs roommate, the red haired boy from the library, worked at a coffee shop and could make some really good coffee. 

and minho wasn’t weird. he was different, and he liked being different. because every night, he could lay in his bed with a certain blond curled up to his chest and fingers running through his hair and hear the words “goodnight, minho.”

and every night, minho could respond with, “goodnight, my love.”


End file.
